greenteaisweird's Xanga

Monday, July 16, 2007

Mon, 16 Jul 2007 02:35:44 GMT

I have just begun my first week of being on "Summer Ministries". The first week i will be in raleigh working at a church called Northside Community Church. They're having vbs for the week and we're helping them out. Then on friday at 3:45 i fly out to California OMG. I'm pumped. Anyway...i'm on the team with three other people, Nathaniel, Matthew, and Leslie. We got a little bored during our down time and the boys found some fun toys. Here's proof.

The church

throwing axes for fun

still bored

scary man. stay away from this one.

Thats all for now folks

oh wow oh wow oh wow

Sat, 30 Jun 2007 16:25:05 GMT

Two weeks of Camp Dixie Down...two to go. Then its off to Raleigh for a week (make that popping sound in your cheek and go WOOOO). haha. Then its California for three weeks. These past two weeks at camp have been great. The first week was with beginner campers (ages 6-9). That was so testing. They listen to you well and stuff but they need you for everything. They need you to tell them to to eat or they'll forget. They need you to tell them to put on diapers (seriously) before they go to bed or they'll pee everywhere. They need you for everything.

Then this past week was Junior week (ages 9-11). They were a little older obviously and didn't need the counselors quite as much to tell them to do certain things. This varied with each kid. But they we ran into attitudes everywhere. Girls realizing that they can talk back and get away with it. And we also ran into boy crazy girls. I can remember liking boys when i was 11, so it was nothing out of the norm i guess. So this week i did some of the music. We did a total of about 5 songs a night. The first two or three were usually done by a woman named Ms. Stacy. She did some kiddie songs where you could dance little moves to them. Then the worship team would get up there and do a few more songs. We kinda mixed it up b/c some kids were still at the point that they needed the younger songs...and some were maturing and needed a little more.

I'm really excited about the week coming up. We get to do songs i've been wanting to do but couldn't b/c the kids wouldn't understand them. This next week is ages 12-14. That sounds young, but these kids aren't stupid.

So the week went well. ..... and then... I got home around 5 and decided to take a bath. My family had left a few hours prior to go camping. They didn't take my grandpa so he stayed home with Ellen, the woman that cares for him during the day time. When i walked in the door at 5, they (Ellen and Grandpa) were eating pizza together and then just before i went to take a bath they were sitting down to watch a movie. About 40 minutes later, i come out of the bathroom and Ellen is bent over grandpa saying "wake up pop". So i come over to see why he isn't waking up. He's breathing normally, but he's a little cold and isn't waking up at all. Now....my grandpa is really deaf and has alzheimers...so i didn't know if it was a combination making him not wake up. So i sit there for about three minutes calling his name and trying to lift his head etc. Nothing is working. Finally he opens his eyes but they barely open. And he's trying to talk to us but its all coming out in a mumble. Slurred speech. I can't understand what he's saying. I know that something isn't right, so i call dad. I tell him whats up and he tells me to call 911. I call, they come, they're idiots. They tell my dad over the phone that they don't think anything is wrong with him even though he has slurred speech and can't stand on his own. Fucking idiots. Benson....uggh. So i tell dad to ignore they're advice, he needs to go to the hospital...and not a hospital around here...one in raleigh. So the people huff and puff a little but get him in the ambulance.

My parents were still at the lake but were packing as quickly as they coudl, the lake is about 1 1/2 hours from raleigh. So i follow the ambulance to wake med and they take me back and explain what's going on. It was crazy. They tell me they're treating it as a stroke and are doing a cat scan and chest x-rays etc. When they wheel him into his little "section" he looks so helpless. No shirt, wires everywhere, blank face, eyes closed. It was rough. When he starts to wake up, he still can't talk clearly...luckily his mind was fine besides the norm, he was still cracking jokes...just not speaking them clearly.

My parents showed up around 9:30, then i drive my brothers home and my parents stay the night. That's all i know thus far.

So...wow.

Life happens.

hmmm....would you be amused if aliens ripped the skies apart.

what's up yaaa'll

Sat, 16 Jun 2007 21:46:52 GMT

this summer begins tomorrow.

I go to camp dixie. Beginner camp starts. I'm a counselor. Then its three more weeks at camp dixie. After that it's one week at a camp in raleigh and then 3 weeks in california. I just can't explain how Great God is. "How Great Thou Art" is in my head. Yeah. A while back i felt God call me to stop doing music for a while and just trust that He would bring it back to me His way. Just a month later, someone got up with me about doing the worship stuff for Camp Dixie and the camps following. He is faithful.

So....after summer camps......

Hold your breath.....

I met this ministry team that is based out of South Africa who tours the US for a full year. I was curious so i started talking to the man in charge and asking questions about what they do and all that jazz. As i was talking to him he told me that they were short a female vocalist.....Side note: basically this team is a ministry team that uses the arts to minister to kids at schools and churches all over the US. They also have a team in South Africa that does the same thing. They do lots and lots of dancing...mostly hip hop, and then the incorporate drama. While they dance and do their performance, they have a band that backs them up.

k. So...they don't have a female vocalist and need one. So after much thought and prayer, i've decided to join. Yes. Like...this all happened pretty fast, but i'm feeling secure in the decision. All of the loose ends in me are sort of summed up in this ministry. Another side note: they usually take weeks to tell people if they are accepted (because you have to try out before you can join). When i tried out...they sent me outside for about 10 minutes, and then brought me back in to say that they felt that i would be good for the team and that it would be good for me. The parents weren't too thrilled at first, but they're warming up to the idea. Right now i'm sending out letters and trying to raise funds for it.

I leave on August 29th...or right around there. I'll be flown out along with 40 other participants to South Africa where we'll all train for 3 months for the ministry that will take place in the US for the rest of the year. I'll be gone pretty much for a full year aside from the breaks here and there. Please be in prayer. This decision isn't the most comfortable decision, but sometimes God calls us out of our comfort zones and simply says "follow me".

I love you all. Seriously. Each and every one of you.

I love you.

Friday, June 01, 2007

Fri, 01 Jun 2007 19:01:18 GMT

Sunday is the first day of camp. YES. I'm super excited. The camp dixie crowd will be joined by a group of kids from florida, boone, and south africa. Quite the mix. I'm pretty anxious about the music. The normal drummer, ross, won't be there, soooo it will be interesting. May end up being straight acoustic with me, lafevers, and nathaniel. I think that would be a cool change of pace....but i'm bias. I'm excited for all my friends this summer. Everyone is kinda doing their own thing, going different ways. It's cool. Nolan is in minnesota, melissa in is indiana, etc. After camp weeks are over, i'll be heading to California for three weeks to do summer ministries. Basically i'll just be a camp counselor in california and get paid to do it. Heck yeah! I need to get a tan.

Tonight, i'm going camping. Kerr lake. Oh yeah. Me, brothers, grandpa, mom, dad, brothers friends, uncle, cousin, and tyler. yay. btw, tyler is going to be working at camp! NO i didn't make him. He asked me about it and then he applied and it all worked out from there. This is exciting b/c i was sad about having to leave.

I have no idea what will happen after summer. I'm all set up to go to school. I don't know.

I'm glad that i'll have the oppurtunity to be away from everything for 3 weeks in california...you know...away from parents telling you what to do with your future, away from friends...i know that sounds bad, but i think i need to be alone for a few weeks.

You graduate high school and the first thing people say is "pick a school". No one says, do you want to go to school? Are you interested in school? Just....pick a school...nothing further. I think this is a mistake. I don't think everyone is meant for school. School isn't meant for everyone. I understand it may make job hunting a bit easier in the long run... but this is all part of the big "American dream". Get an education so you can get a good job and have a big house bla bla bla. I'm not sure that that is for me.

It's hard to know what you like doing, know what you're good at, know what you want to do for the rest of your life, and not be able to do it now b/c a few people think it would be safe to go to school first. Four years isn't that much in the grand scheme of things....but it is a long time to spend doing something that isn't for you. If i go to school, it will be because my parents want me to. It won't be because i want to go and get a degree. I just feel like if i'm going to go and spend their money, i should want to go. I don't want them to spend money and me not even want to be there.

Saying all this makes me think, you have the oppurtunity to go school, not everyone has that chance, you should take advantage of it. But at the same time, i know what i want to do. The sooner i don't have to think about school, the sooner i can get to it (the future that i desire). School. ugh.

If i decide not to go...i will def be kicked out, or atleast told to move out, get a job, and make it on my own. Which is cool with me.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Tue, 22 May 2007 12:43:25 GMT

I would first like to say that i am currently sipping a wonderful cup of coffee. One that makes me sink deeper into my chair....one that makes me happy.

Its a little weird that coffee just made me get passionate. Maybe i should quit....coffee....not passion. k

Second, i would like for everyone to go to the previous post and laugh with me and the random comments i got. One about a high school trip, a random yeah, guitar?, and something about pickles and peanut butter. Thanks guys.

Tomorrow i'm leaving to go to nashville. Random, i know. I'll be going with Mr. Tyler Hayes himself. lol. I've never been to Nashville soooo i'm excited. We're leaving wednesday morning staying all day thursday and then coming home friday night. Tylers manager works there and soooo he's keeping up with his contacts by meeting up with them again. I'm just along for the ride. I'm really excited. Hopefully i won't get sick or recieve two speeding tickets or somthing stupid like that. HA.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Mon, 21 May 2007 12:59:19 GMT

i believe in a thing called love.....just listen to the rhythm of the heart....doo doo dood oo doo lalalalala.

I BELIEVE IN A THING CALLED LOOOOOVEEEE OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH

Friday, May 18, 2007

Fri, 18 May 2007 16:47:36 GMT

soooo i've been vegetarian for about 3 months now. Doing pretty well on it. Haven't cheated at all on meat. I started out vegan...not eating any kind of dairy...for the most part. But that was super hard and i really need milk in my coffee sooooo i gave up on the no milk thing. I still don't eat a LOT of cheese, but whatever. Anyway...

This summer i'm gonna be a camp counselor allll summer. So....my thoughts are...its gonna be next to impossible to be vegetarian this summer. First off...have you ever seen what camps serve as far as food goes? If i didn't eat meat...i would be eating like hot dog buns and chips all summer. Thats just bad. Also, kids are usually like ewww i don't want to eat my food and you as the counselor have to set the example and eat your food. So if i'm like oh i don't have to eat b/c i'm special...yeah right...that will not work out very well. So...mom thinks i should slowly start to eat meat again. She says it may upset my stomach at first being that i haven't had any at all beside the small amounts of fish in sushi in 3 months. I probably won't eat a lot of meat...but i will eat it when i need/have to. So if you see me eating meat any time soon...thats why.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Tue, 15 May 2007 20:26:35 GMT

Mmmmmm.....the kind of mmm sound you make after eating a good cookie, or for smoker....smoking a good cigarette.

That's how i feel after this week. A bittersweet mmmm.

This has the potential to be a long post.

My friend Talita, from South Africa was in town this week. She's on a dance ministry team that travels the US and had a week off so she came to my house. How awesome. She is amazing, inspiring, loves life, and the Lord of it. We had a good time.

This week has been one of the most testing weeks of...probably my entire life. I truly believe God sent Talita to my house to talk me through it. I don't really know what to type but i feel that if i talk about my week here and put it on something besides my mind...like my computer screen, it will bring closure.

I know now that i am a very impatient person. Impatient may not be the right word....i need things to be moving and changing all the time, otherwise i get "bored" or restless or anxious. This is true in every aspect of my life. It affects where i live, where i go to school, what i want to study, who i hang out with, the music i try to write, and even the people i try to be with. "be" with. I've learned that i have no idea what it means to be with someone. I also know that i don't think i'm ready to know or want to know what that means right now. I don't think i could sit still long enough to carry it out. I don't know who i want to be with, i don't know what i want to do with life, i don't know where i want to be when i am with this person, and i don't care. I don't think i should care right now. Now isn't the time. I have a life to live. Now....in all of this....i mean i'm not ready for marriage....mmmm i'm not sure if i like the sentence i just typed but i'm not going to delete it. I am dating...still. I don't have any regrets....about anything....really....i can't think of any regrets.

Nolan left yesterday....

You know those times when you see someone, or you yourself, hit your drink and you see it falling off the table but somehow you become really awesome and grab it just before it hits the ground? Well i'm not awesome, but i think that happened with mine and Nolans friendship this week. It was close to shattering....maybe....maybe not. Tears and snot and words and friendship made it work out. God made it work out. We were the drink falling off of the table and God was the awesome guy who saw us just in time and decided to swoop down and grab us before we shattered. I'm grateful. Things would have been bad. This summer would have been so hard. If Nolan had left and we were still upset. I would have been really sad, and beside myself for a long time....to know that my best friend left for 2 months and didn't want to hear from me.

We're ok now. Thanks to the big man who catches falling drinks at fast food resturants.

I am going to be leading worship at Camp Dixie this summer. All summer. Then i'll be doing summer ministries with Camp Dixie and possibly leading worship for that as well....that's undecided so far, but i'm hoping. I am completely undeserving of all of this. My relationship with Christ is in shambles and he has chosen me to do this. Speechless. Humble. God placed a song in my heart about a year ago where i sing "Hanging on a tree and staring at me with THOSE eyes. I hand him my plea, guilty of so many lies. He doesn't care...no it doesn't bother him at all...because he doesn't call on the perfect....no, he doesn't call on the perfect." Truly, typing this my heart burns. To know that this was put into my own heart my own mind my own mouth and onto paper and into song. To knwo that i have been singing it for an entire year and God brings it back to me...the one saying it this whole time...to say "Yes, Rebekah, I do not call on the perfect....but i will call on you." When we give God room to call on us, he does. Never fails.

So today, the sky is blue, the grass is green, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, the flowers are blooming, the river flows, and my heart burns. Summer begins.

And i am called

Monday, May 14, 2007

Mon, 14 May 2007 03:20:12 GMT

I imagine that God is looking down at me with a humorous smirk on his face saying "Damn girl, you sure did dig yourself a real nice shit hole down there...how you planning to get out?"

And i'm just looking up while standing in the massive hole with shit at the bottom, saying...."yeah....haha laugh it up....reaaaal funny."

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Wed, 02 May 2007 19:38:10 GMT